Did you know? Or Do you Care? by Ellen
April 3, 2009, 7:16 pm
Filed under: CHAFF

I bought a book today on the way to Milwaukee from a very special sandwich shop, it is called The Book of Useless Information, and was number one on the New York Times bestseller list. It is an OFFICIAL publication of The Useless Information Society and promises to tell me lots of things I did not need to know. 

I think most books are number one on the NY Times Bestseller list at one point or another, surely it is a rite of passage for the useless novellettes which are found by the cash register or bunched together pyramid style on a table  promising to either dramatically change your life or distract you just enough so you don’t realise it might suck. 

This book reminded me of a firm favourite of mine from childhood called “50 Fascinating Facts.” (The Hungry Caterpillar is just so obvious) You can probably guess what the content of this book was.

Anyway I was obsessed with it, and not in a “what a special child with their thirst for knowledge maybe they will grow up to be a astronaut” kind of way but because it contained exciting and odd information which gave me a false impression about the nature of existence. For example I learnt about the man who hiccupped for five years, the woman with a hairy face who people mistook for a Werewolf and the children who had green skin so were sent to live in a cave. These and other interesting tidbits made me excited about all the oddities life would present me with and all the hairy faced sneezing green children I would befriend along the way. 

But I have this new book and I thought I would tease you all with a few tantalizing morsels of information from it’s contents, some stuff you can sprout at dinner parties to impress loved ones or things you can mutter to yourself in the mirror just to confirm how deliciously intelligent you are.

Virgina Woolf Wrote all her books standing up.

Spain literally means “The Land of Rabbits.”

Grapes Explode When you Put Them in the Microwave (I thought that would have been obvious. Ollie says it happens with Tomato’s as well.)

There are no Clocks in any Las Vegas Gambling Casinos.

A Third of all Taiwanese Funeral Processions include a Stripper.

If you have any useless but somehow enlightening facts you would like to unburden yourself off then pop them into the comment box. If they are in anyway productive or too…factual they will be dully ignored.

Ellen x


10 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Every word in the Hawaiian ends with a vowel.

There are more molecules on the head of a teaspoon than there are stars in the known universe.

Also, I hope at least one of you have put a lightbulb in the microwave at some point in your lifetime.

Comment by NicksCamp!

That was clearly supposed to be “Hawaiian alphabet”

Comment by NicksCamp!

elvis didn’t die having a heart attack on his toilet.

your thumb is the same lenght as your nose.

twinkle twinkle little star is the same tune as the alphabet

Comment by eden

Every continent begins with and ends in the sane letter

Comment by Yum

*same letter

Comment by Yum

There is no point to life.

Comment by Anonymous

Actually, grapes don’t explode in the microwave, the skin exposed to the microwaves disintegrates into the fifth (fourth?) state of matter known as plasma. It’s very bright while it’s in there, and if you want to try it, make sure mum isn’t home, because some smoke may result. cut the grape in half down its length, then cut into the flesh of the half but don’t pierce the skin. push the skin through so you have two distinct quarters held together by the skin. whack in microwave for 10secs for light show.

There’s always science behind useless facts.

Comment by Trung

A glass of water explodes in a microwave.

So does dynamite.

Comment by ciaran

More people are killed by donkey attacks than airplane crashes yearly.

Comment by Seán Keenan

That’s true. Just ask Fr. Larry Duff.

Comment by ciaran

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