Baseball is not as shit as I thought it was. by Gareth
May 5, 2009, 8:05 pm
Filed under: CHAFF

America, I am sorry. I had spent twenty-three years of my life thinking baseball was rubbish. However, last night we went to Safeco Field to watch Seattle’s own Mariners versus Texas Rangers in a baseball spectacular. We were escorted by Mr. Bowen again, and he was very useful in explaining what was going on. I’m very happy to say, I now understand, and from now on, being sleepless in the UK on a weeknight, with only channel five for company is going to be a little more interesting.

Our tour manager Joe Puleo is a big baseball fan, and so Tom text him to get his assessment of the two teams. As follows:

You will see a very good young pitcher for the Mariners, Felix Hernandez.  The Mariners have two Japanese players in the line-up. Ichiro who is amazing, and Johjima the catcher, who is not so amazing, solid though. The Rangers from Texas are a weird team, once owned by George W. Bush. They were fucked up before he owned them and fucked up still. But they do have a few great players.  The second baseman Ian Kinsler (sounds like a Brit at least) is a top player. The third baseman is very good too, solid like Ryan Giggs but not as old. Michael Young is his name, he is on my fantasy team. The Rangers have a very interesting outfielder, a former crack addict, but he is out of the line-up these days. Jesus Freak this guy, Josh Hamilton, but I have to give him that he (and He) really did turn his life around. Crazily enough for these two teams that were not highly regarded, they are on top of their division table. But it is a long season, this is game 25 in a 162 game season.

One thing that distrubed us, was the distinct lack of hooliganism. Everybody at the BALLGAME was very friendly and polite, and we didn’t really like that. Mark is a lifelong Cardiff City fan, so he’s used to things being a bit more…y’know. After the game (a 6-5 defeat) the Seattle fans left and seemed happy. People were posing for pictures with the stupid mascot thing, and nobody was bleeding. We tried to rally the troops a little and inspire some passion, as seen from our raucous celebrations at Mariners’ four run innings:

That video is funny, because Ollie missed every Seattle point whilst going on a beer run. Good times.

But, basically, I think I like baseball after all. The Red Sox are in town this weekend, and I plan on heading down with a book and my iPod, smuggling a hipflask in and getting drunk at the back of section 132. Come join me?


17 Comments so far
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i love the energy of a mariners game…

Comment by Jasmine


P.S. Go Bo-Sox.

Comment by Jenn

I apologize on our country’s behalf for convincing you otherwise, give yourself some time, I’m sure you’ll realize it really is shit.

Comment by Nick

Ah, glad you like it b/c I can’t care for it till the playoffs.

Vital point, btw, fyi: points are called runs. And yes, Ollie’s rxn is priceless.

Comment by Eric

I love baseball, and got a lot of flack for it when I was in England last year. I get a lot of flack for it here, too, because I’m a Cubs fan, though. Why can’t we all just get along?!

Pretty much any time I get up to do anything at a baseball game something exciting happens. I feel Ollie’s pain. It suuucks.

Comment by Jeska

I nervously hope you don’t attend a Sounders game and rip apart American “soccer” (though it’s not as bad as you’d think… I hope).

Comment by AndyinSeattle

We’re hoping to go to Sounders versus Galaxy on the weekend. I like the MLS.

Comment by Gareth

Disproportionately happy that you liked the baseball. I suppose I should pay more attention to Mike Skinner’s cricket tweets.

Comment by Peter

I love baseball, If I were in Seattle I would come get drunk in the back of section 132. In regards to the lack of general hooliganism (or bloodshed) in baseball, I think it boils down to a couple of things. Namely that it is a long season, and that generally unless its a crucial game late in the year (or the playoffs) there seems to be not as much at stake (even though each game obviously counts just as much as the others.) Thus even though your team may lose, you generally get over it pretty quickly.

The other important factor to consider is who the game is between. The Mariners and Rangers don’t have much of a blood feud with one another (even if they play in the same division) but if you were to go see a game between hated rivals (examples being Red Sox v. Yankees, Mets v. Phillies, Cubs v. Cardinals etc) you would certainly see a fair amount of fights in the stands as well as bloodletting and vulgarity.

Comment by Chris

I’m glad you guys liked it, especially since it looked like you were at a game that was completely dead!

If you’re ever in Houston, I’d take you to a an Astros game. For better or worse, we love our team, and drunk Texans seem far more entertaining than what I just saw in your video.

Seattle fans = comatose?

Comment by Kyle

I agree, Baseball is not shit! Unlike American Football… 😀

Comment by Dan

if you were to go to a ballgame in the northeast (like the Sox or Yankees) you would see a much more passionate fanbase at the park…

Comment by Dana C

Nice! You should also see the following home game against the Columbus Crew. They raised Villa’s keeper and Fulham’s former captain’s their bastard son.

Comment by AndyinSeattle

That’s the right idea, Andy. Baseball is so 1994. Check out an MLS game instead.

Comment by Julia

Hey, I was listening to that Mariners game on the radio. Too weird. It’s really too bad you weren’t at the game the night before. It went 15 innings and the Mariners won 8-7. That would have been a perfect introduction to baseball. Enjoy the rest of your stay in Seattle!

p.s. you guys were great at Neumos a few weeks back.

Comment by Sean (tullycraft)

Happy cause you named one the best venezuelan promises Felix Hernandez :).

You should return to Venezuela to make another gig, also to assist to a baseball game here (baseball season is between octuber and january). You will love the latin-caribbean atmosphere in baseball games.

P.D: Yankees sux, Go STOCKINS!!!

Comment by luisdanielurea

Ollie’s reaction is top.

Comment by Antonio

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