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Today, we should be at ATP. BY RIGHTS!!
The next three days promise to be a stream of torturous reminders that we’re not.
So, to celebrate the fact that I’m gonna be miserable this weekend while my friends tweet and facebook and blog about how they’re having an incredible time, as I sit LONELY at msn, ABANDONED, here are some stream of consciousness, non-proof read reminisces about the four ATPs that myself and other members of LC! have attended. Plenty of name-dropping because I’m depressed, alright?
The United Sounds Of ATP.
Our first ATP. Phil Elverum with Herman Dune as backing band. Neil and Tom paid for tickets. I got the other…five of our pals “press passes” due to me being a BIG PLAYER in student media at the time. We slept the seven of us in and around a single double bed. John slept with his head in a bin and wore a dress for the weekend, got recognised by Huw Stephens while hitching up his skirt in the . Tom and Neil got their picture taken with Bill Callahan. Immediately accidentally deleted it. Cried. Beth Ditto called me “the cutest thing I’ve ever seen”. Met a really awesome girl, wrote a song about it. Did a conga line whilst watching the Shins. Shared a chalet with a Sheffield Wednesday fan, he was very tall. Two litre bottles of Strongbow. Vodka and slush puppies. Might have met Josie Long. Dancing with Sleater-Kinney to ‘Hot Topic’ by Le Tigre, WHILST WEARING a Bikini Kill t-shirt. 33 at 45. Mascis playing guitar with BSS, and forgetting to mute his pedals whilst tuning up, LOL. Absolutely OWNING the dancefllor for the entire weekend.I kind of peaked here. Pretty certain this was the happiest weekend of my life.
ATP VS THE FANS
The moment, watching Architecture In Helsinki, that, all at once, about 25 blokes in the crowd noticed a bit of one of their songs sounded like the BBC Cricket coverage theme tune, massive grins. Starting the weekend off with The Thermals, meeting loads of people off Drowned In Sound in the front row. Somebody told me Daniel Johnston had missed his flight. I drunkenly announced it to loads of people. Daniel Johnston hadn’t missed his flight. I’m still very sorry. The Notwist being amazing. Got a verse out of this one too. Yoni Wolf and Dose One performing part of Physics Of A Unicycle together. Incredible. Missed Shellac because we watched the frankly FUCKING AWFUL Chelsea v Utd FA Cup final. Asked to do a Los Campesinos! v Mogwai 5-a-side football match. Too scared.
CAN’T FIND ANY PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF THIS ONE!!
ATP VS PITCHFORK
We played this one. Esiotrot/4 or 5 Magicians/Los Campesinos! 5-a-side. Lot of fun. Maybe shouldn’t go to ATP with a girlfriend, makes it a bit rubbisher. Also, don’t jump off the drum kit during your set and sprain your ankle and subsequently have to spend the rest of the weekend on crutches. Except, ATP only had one pair of crutches, and somebody had already taken. In extreme pain for the rest of the weekend. But playing was probably the proudest I’ve ever been. I CROWDSURFED!! Last day of the Premiership season, United win it at Wigan. Found a disposable barbecue with a human turd on it. Times New Viking dedicating a song to us, and hanging out with them all weekend, gettin’ waaaaaaasted man. Saw the guy, who had the crutches, CARRYING THEM, WALKING FINE!!! BASTARD!! Was offered a Zimmer frame.
NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: MIKE PATTON/THE MELVINS
Didn’t go until Saturday afternoon, because I had a football match Saturday morning. Watched about 3 bands. All very good, thank you very much. Watched about 5 football matches. Everton v Aston Villa was a hell of a game. United beat Fulham. Kept asking for beers with the stress on the wrong cyllables, hilarious. Got drunk and tried to go swimming. It was closed. Got tricked at ‘gay chicken’. Lots of Dance Dance Revolution. Me and Gui started our new band KrabIsland (news on that, never). I could be Teenage Jesus’ drummer.
I’ve been reasonably restrained here. Might add some more in a bit. We’ll be lucky if I don’t bust out crying…
No apologies made.
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