Super 8 Adventure+Nearly Being Eaten by Ellen
May 23, 2009, 5:41 pm
Filed under: CHAFF

On my “Super 8” adventure around the West Coast I have seen many bizarre and wonderful sites, (including Eureka, it was like the  “Back To The Future Part 2” version of Hill Valley.) The first thing which really struck my eye was the Portland “Zombie” ball which seemed a lovely way to celebrate your coming of age. Although the photo is not great because I was being sneaky, this function room was over spilling with blood spattered gore monsters all having a marvelous time…




I also stopped in Bend in Oregon where I had the nicest cocktail I have ever tasted which had something to do with Gin, Blackberry’s and a sprig of magic. I ventured into a Willy Wonka themed sweet shop which played songs from the film whilst showing it on a loop. I wait for the day where the headlines scream “Willy Wonka Shop Assistant Goes Insane and Punches Group of Tanned Small Women.” I also missed Alek so much that I stared longingly at her douple ganger mannequin in the window for about three hours.



I went to Crater Lake but danced about in snow first. Minutes after this was taken I fell over. 

The next day I danced about in the sea for a bit. Minutes after this was taken I was sucked in by the current and had a Bedknobs and Broomsticks style adventure.

IMG_2724I came across this lovely fellow on the way to Napa Valley, I believe his name is Paul Bunyan, and I don’t know what he did, but he has a really big axe and he hung out by the “Trees of Mystery,” near the “Hill of Confusion.” It seems to make a tourist attraction worthy it must have some element of puzzlement to it.

I tried some wines in Napa and due to the fact the wine serving expert man was shutting up for the day I was given a guided tour, AND loads more free wine. I was trying to pay attention as he talked about barrels, and fermenting and oaking the flavour but all I could think was “It’s not even 6 yet, and I am wasted!”

The wine headache and the regret followed, but I felt like I had sophisticated my pallet and was prepared for a evening of….camping.

IMG_2755Hours after this was taken I nearly got eaten by a Coyote.

I am not a massive camping fan, but my traveling companion promised me that this would be a lovely little outing, save money and really get me back to nature, coz apparently it has missed me?

Anyway the area was beautiful and the weather was calming, but I was unfortunately nursing a post tour cold so couldn’t really sleep…. about four in the morning I popped outside to have a wee, because I could not be bothered to walk to the toilets, and I heard a strange noise. I dismissed it, and got back into the tent to lie in a hot feverish daze, but then I heard a growl….

Yes, ladies and gentleman, a growl… not like a dog growl but like a beast from hell deep thundering growl. I awoke my companion to check I was not going insane, and we lay there trembling as the “thing” continued to growl four times more JUST OUTSIDE THE TENT. We had no idea about wildlife native to that area but lying in a pitch black little tent after days of “bear talk” with something you can’t see growling outside your brain immediately leaps to grizzly, wolf or Cerberus. My travelling companion used the car key alarm to make a beepy noise to startle it and I lay there wondering if I was about to get eaten. In all honesty I have never been so scared in my life, and my fight or flight thing kicked in, and all I wanted to do was run… but I was informed that was not sensible so I lay and shook for an hour before I made us ran to the car and sleep there the rest of the night. 

In the morning the Park Ranger said it was probably a Coyote.

I had obviously disturbed it when I got out the tent, so I shudder to think if I had looked around and seen this staring back at me. 


I am never camping again is the morale of that story. So I am happy to be in San Francisco, where there is Ameoba, The Stinking Rose, and no chance my imagination will run away and convince me there is a zombie Gryphon outside the tent waiting to much on my brains.


16 Comments so far
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In Eureka did you meet a woman called Robot who is obsessed with Kraftwerk?

Comment by s

There was a Simpsons episode about Paul Bunyan that ‘spains it all. The one with a hobo on a train.

Comment by S. Pooley

hooray for san francisco! you just missed the nice weather, though. how long are you here for?

also, that picture of that beast is really pretty frightening.

Comment by rp!

Oh, you seem to have rolled into San Francisco just in term for what the locals are calling ‘summer’. Overcast foggy oddness. Shame though, since last week was gloriously sunny, 33°; prefect English summertime. Except it was May… and there was rather less apple juice.

Every English person here went out and bought Pimms (but, because it’s San Francisco, also tracked their purchases live on twitter…)

The Mission is always free of fog at least, so Dolores Park will still be quite good. Which puts you rather near some incredible ice cream (Bi-Rite on 18th+Dolores). It’s a nice place, is this.

Comment by Ben Ward

I’d love to bob along at the bottom of the briney sea, a la Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

Comment by Lois

I vaguely remember watching a Disney cartoon as a kid about Paul Bunyan, don’t really remember his whole deal, just that he had a giant blue ox and like.. was all lumberjack-y and stuff.

Comment by Nick

snap your in san francisco? just sayin my friends and i are going to see star trek then going out in the mission if you are bored (which you shouldn’t be because you in san francisco) you should come with

Comment by vanessa

Yeh, thanks to the simpsons, i’m an aussie who knows who paul bunyan is.

also i happen to be studying global wine for geography and have learnt that the production of Californian wine(goliath) is destroying small winemakers(david) in Europe who produce according to tradition to produce a wine characteristic of their terroir as opposed to making a standardised product to be exported.
y’know, just saying.

Comment by Trung

Just saw your message now Vanessa, I was oddly enough in the mission last night, went to a lovely mexican place which had a big queue outside, followed by a bar which did pints in manly “German beer hall” style litres. What did you think of Star Trek?
Also the sea fog is somewhat mystical yes…
I sadly did not meet this “Robot” character in Eureka, but did meet a waiter who was at the end of his shift and so gave us our meal for free. That was nice. What does the memorial weekend mean for San Francisco? Is everything going to be shut tomorrow x

Comment by Ellen

I loved Star Trek, and basically need to see it again immediately. Loved that Simmon Pegg was in it! Nobody told me about that! I know where I work we are going to be open. If you like rice pudding, frozen yogurt, and /or coffee you should stop by the Loving Cup on Polk and Union and I will hook it up. Any time after 5pm. But if you are looking to go out you should be good. I think after work I may be going around 11ish to this bar called Buckshots, if your down to drink in a kind of mellow place with ski ball then you would be about it. Also pick up a city weekly. This week its the best of issue, so lots of good things happening in it. The Mission is my favorite place in San Francisco! Hope you had fun there. It’s the best… Ha and yes fog is very magical. WIZARD!

Comment by vanessa

ONE more thing. If you need something to do tomorrow night and like Flight of the Conchords, they are performing tomorrow night in Berkeley
they have two shows, and I am pretty sure they aren’t sold out yet

Comment by vanessa

I can’t believe you were in Bend! That’s were I live!! What a great little town, huh? If you ever coming back through, shoot an e-mail and we’ll throw a BBQ or something!

Comment by Lewis Cash

Come to HB. It’s our centennial 100 years YEAH, and we have coyotes too. Don’t believe me. Leave your cat out for the night 😦


Comment by Kristian

your posts are beautifully blah. i went to crater lake once too it was pretty and nothing happened that i remember. love your posts.

Comment by uyd4l

you haven’t had the entire paul bunyan experience unless you’ve seen his giant blue ox and taken a picture caressing its giant blue testicles. its somewhat of an west-of-the-missisippi-american right of passage.

Comment by kiamarie

Ellen please tell me you aren’t leaving Los Camp! too. I don’t know if I could continue my affair with Los Campesinos! if you and Aleks left. That would be too killer. PLEASE DON’T EVER LEAVE!

Comment by Vanessa

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