Filed under: CHAFF
Unless you have been living under a proverbial rock you will be aware that SFX released a vampire special this month and although it is a tad pricey, it’s worth getting your mits on for the Buffy mouse pads and very long and detailed interview with James Marsters. James a.k.a Spike was voted the number one vampire by the good readers of the magazine, which is a fair assesment. The top ten seemed pretty spot on if it wasn’t for Selena from Underworld being in there, but the commentry on her was “I SO WOULD PHWWWOAR” rather then a intricate reflection of her fanged antics… at least Robert Pattison’s placing in the top 50 had the pull out quote “When you read the book it’s like “Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself””
In honour of this I have made a Top Ten Six Werewolf list
6. Professor Lupin: Isn’t it weird that his last name is a deviation of the latin word for wolf like AND he is a wolf?! It’s like those people whose last names are Pratt and they are pratts! Oh Miss Rowling, your subtlety never fails to amaze me…
5. The cast of Dog Soldiers: This British horror film is a favorite of myself and Ollie’s, and the name summarizes the film better then I ever could… It’s mindless, stupid, entertaining, and better then Severance so bonus.
4. Joanie in Cursed: This film directed by Wes Craven is a thinly veiled lesson in safe sex, with the werewolfness being spread by Joshua Jackson’s unprotected penis. Myself and Alek saw it in the cinema and felt the line uttered by the character Joanie “I guess there is no such thing as safesex with a werewolf” was wonderful. Plus it’s the only film I have seen with a werewolf giving Christina Ricci the middle finger.
3. Michael Sheen in the Underworld trilogy: Technically he is only in one and two, but because he can act proper and that he manages to make the films half decent. Plus this film is about the forbidden love between a vampire and a werewolf which we have all pondered over and contains a particularly impressive sex scene over the edge of a cliff.
Look how much fun he is having.
2. OZ! When I was younger I really liked Seth Green and all I wanted in my life was a small ginger boy with black nail varnish who played guitar to sweep me off my feet, I was what you might call “emo” and “living in a fantasy world of my own creation.” Anyway, due to this affliction I was rather invested in his and Willow’s love.
I was impressed with how they dealt with him being a wolf and Willows little fling with Xander and I cried my little heart out when that EVIL SLUT Veruca teased him away with her werelady charms.
1. Brigette and Ginger in Ginger Snaps: This film is about two nerdy death obsessed sisters and is a thinly veiled (aren’t they all!) metaphor for going through fun puberty, where one of them literally gets “The Curse” but thinks it is just her hormones or a really bad period rather then because a werewolf bit her. It’s a good twist on the werewolf genre, and is maybe like Heathers but with Wereladies.(Oh and the second one is set in Pagan times, and isn’t very good.)
p.s I went to see the first ever screening of the new Harry Potter film last friday in London and Simon Mayo was there, but sadly no Mark Kemode. However, I will give a little review of it after the premiere on Tuesday as well as covering myself with the free Harry Potter transfer tattoos I got.
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