Predictable Predictions by Ellen
February 9, 2010, 8:20 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

The Oscars fall between our UK and European Tour which is just perfect timing for me as it means I am available to attend!

Mr Oscar give me an invite!

The cinematographer from “All About Steve” must need a date?!

(Actually him)

You could nominate me in the “Best Use of Recently Reinvented Soap Opera Theme Tune in a Tour film” category?! They would have that category if this was like The Grammys.

I’ll become a scientologist if you want?

Fine. I shall stay up all night wearing a frock, sobbing into my sparkling wine and caressing my sisters cut out of R-Patz.

Anyway, here are my predictions for the over long fake and ridiculous ceremony of dreams.

Best Supporting Actress: Pen Cruz has been nominated for her role in Nine which involved her rolling around on the floor splaying her breasts and was hardly a taxing part for such an accomplished actress and whilst Farmiga is good in “Up In The Air” I feel Kendrick is better. However neither has the drama lama on their side, which falls to former star of The Parkers (I loved that show) Mo’Nique.

Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz deserves to not only win this Oscars but thump Damon in the face with it whist close lining Plummer, elbowing Tucci in the esophagus and kneeing Harrelson in the  testicles.

Best Actress: I didnt like either Julie or Julia and I see this nomination as pointless. Close call between Mulligan and Sidibe though, but Sidibe has the backstory and the skillz and Mulligan only has elf hair.

Best Actor: So many of these films haven’t even come out here yet, DAMM YOU. On hearsay alone im going with Firth, as he is meant to be eye wettingly amazing, however I have a soft spot for Renner who is outstanding in The Hurt Locker and should be in more stuff. Clooney is smug and undeserving and can take his Nespresso and fuck off. Like he doesnt have a coffee minion.

Best Director: Cameron vs Bigelow. Jodi Picoult vs Shakespeare. Robin Vs Batman. You see what I’m saying. But Tarantino should win. He wont though, Daniels will.

Writing: In The Loop got a nod, which is exceptionally great, but a bit of a outsider…this one is hard to judge, I haven’t even seen Precious yet but I have a feeling it will do a grand sweepy, but maybe An Education will sneak in here. Let the British win something other then best visuals for Harry Potter. Again.

Best Picture: Avatar can go fuck itself in Pandora with a giant blue Siquorny Weaver smurf fern gulley, it’s mindless entertaining tosh and THAT’S ALL. I am rooting for the Basterds/ The Locker of Pain and or the unrelenting yet wonderful depressiveness that was Precious and DONT YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE.

Now don’t you even pretend you care about the rest.

And here is a a joyous treat (in some ways) a video from our “Drowned in Sound” Takeover I made. It shows us on our tour adventures with the Cribs over the holiday period. Enjoy.

Ellen x


15 Comments so far
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What film is that clip in the beginning from? The one that Gareth points at while he’s talking….also first

Comment by Robert

Lee Ranaldo!!!

Comment by Ray

I’m glad somebody else feels the same way about Avatar. The novelty of the whole 3D thing only made me feel really ill. Which means it is undeserving of winning best picture.

However, Damon should totally win best supporting actor. I love his South African accent. It was a travesty that Leo didn’t win best actor for Blood Diamond. So to make up for that, logic dictates that Damon win best supporting actor this time around.

Comment by dave

Picture: Hurt Locker
Actor: Jeff Bridges
Actress: Sandra Bullock
S/Actor: Christoph Waltz
S/Actress: Mo’nique
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Screenplay: Basterds
Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air (even though I’m really pulling for In the Loop)

I really don’t think there will be any Brit love this year. Hope for some Baftas.

Comment by Matt

Thank you Ellen, I really enjoy watching your tour videos. I hope you make a stop in Montreal on your tour in April. The last time you played here I gave you a bag of bagels at the end of the gig. Hope you enjoyed them. Rock on…..

Comment by Petrellad

I would seperate this by who I want to win and who will?

I actually have seen everything nominated by now, I’m proud to say

Best Picture:
Want: Up in the Air
Will: The Hurt Locker

Best Director:
Want: Quentin Tarantino
Will: James Cameron (I could see this and Best Picture switching though)

Best Actor:
Want: Jeremy Renner
Will: Jeff Bridges

Best Actress:
Want: Carey Mulligan
Will: Carey Mulligan (I’m hoping she sneaks in)

Best Supporting Actor:
Want: Christoph Waltz
Will: Christoph Waltz (This is an easy one)

Best Supporting Actress:
Want: Anna Kendrick
Will: Mo’nique (Not undeserved either, just not my top choice)

Best Foreign Language Film:
Want: A Prophet
Will: The White Ribbon (Aside from Cache, I always feel that Haneke is overrated)

Best Animated Film:
Want: Fantastic Mr. Fox
Will: Up

Best Screenplay:

Original –
Want & Will: Inglorious Basterds

Adapted –
Want & Will: Up in the Air.

Now to watch your tour video, always love these.

Comment by Nick

Aren’t you sad that (500) Days of Summer didn’t get nominated?

Comment by Jeff

Jeremy Renner was also in the Angel season 1 episode “Somnambulist” playing the vampire Penn, the one who carves crosses into his victims’ cheeks before killing them.


Comment by jamesthegill

I actually am =|

Comment by Nick

Gareth….we have the same parka. Comfy isn’t it?

Comment by Jonny

I have the same drum stick that Gareth has at the beginning of the video. I couldn’t help but take it from the stage after the last Minneapolis gig. I think the only time he used it was during Ways to Make it Through the Wall.

Comment by Drew

That video was awesome! I couldn’t help but sing all the words to the instrumentals.

Comment by Chris F

Although it’s been rather an inglorious (ho-HO!) year for film, it’s still disheartening to see nods being given to so much spaff. Ho hum.

Oh, and A Single Man is indeed pretty fucking stunning (and I feel that only recieving one nomination from the Academy – swiftly becoming the very opposite of a marker of filmic value and/or beauty – helps back this claim up).

Comment by Sarah

I don’t really know how the nominee list shows a weak year for film, thinking back, while there are a few on there that you can quibble with, it’s mostly a strong list and those not on it were somewhat divisive or sadly just too small it seems.

Comment by Nick

I’m making shitty t shirts to sell outside the princess pavillion on friday. WOB.WOD. and stuff

Comment by Charlie Mann

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