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Hello self indulgent rant and platform in which to expunge and berate all the things which have been pissing me off in life this week…
This image you see before you is not taken from GQ,Zoo, Nuts, Maxim or the classier pages of Horse and Hound, it is in fact a image in this months Total Film magazine.
The last time I checked Kelly Brook’s bit part in Piranha 3-D was not important enough in the film world to warrant a four minute contemplation LET ALONE a four page spread and tag line cover reading “Bikini’s in the Movies” by Kelly Brook. I would not mind if that was attributed to a vast essay dissecting the finer points of iconic clothing within fimilic moments by a credible actress but NO, its Kelly Brook saying ” Whatever, I’ll dress up as Princess Leia for you.” (actual quote)
I would not mind if it was a small picture in the “stuff thats going on in films this month” section but there is no valid reason I can think of which requires that much space and that many large scale images of a semi naked Kelly Brook. She didnt impress me in Smallville and she wont impress me in Piranha 3-D, and this magazine is not meant to be a naked lady booby magazine, I have nothing against those, this is meant to be a “modern guide to movies” supplement. Even Megan Fox would have made more sense….
Whats next? Is Heat Magazine going to start discussing the decay of the textile industry in order to pull in keen knitters who may have overlooked it? Is Bizarre magazine going to start promoting ladies who abhor spandex for the more traditional reader? Is More magazines position of the fortnight going to be replaced with “funny cat of the week” for the lolz cats generation? (Not a bad idea) EH EH
To balance out this fall from grace I demand a four page photo spread of a naked William H Macy with the tag line “Genitals in the Movies” by William H Macy, in which he discusses his favorite images of genitals within modern cinema and recreates those shots.
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